October is my birthday month and this October, tomorrow (2^nd October) more specifically, I turn 40! Yes, I almost can’t believe it…where did the time go? Birthdays have a way of making you think more about life and I have certainly been thinking about my journey.  There’s so much I’ve been through, good and bad. I, therefore, wanted to share with you some of the lessons I learned in life to date.  There are many, but I think these 40 Life Lessons stand out and I’d love to hear which resonates with you the most, in the comments below:

1. Don’t allow what others think to affect your decisions – In certain situations in my life, I was more concerned with what others may think of me and as a result, I stopped myself from doing things, which wasn’t a good decision in the end – people will talk about you either way
2. Be present – Today, it’s so easy to be attached to our mobile devices, televisions and even suffers digital dementia – be physically and mentally present in meetings and during family time to build healthy relationships, personal and professional
3. Embrace, accept and respect diversity – Every individual is different, take the time to understand each person
4. Change is good & inevitable – Swim with the flow, not against it. Change is an opportunity to grow, it may remove you from your comfort zone – be adventurous and venture into the unknown
5. Remove yourself from gossip and small talk – If it doesn’t affect you and the conversation isn’t around finding solutions but mainly to blame and/or discuss others, then walk away – things that affect others will drain you if you expose yourself to their bullsh!t
6. Be Social media savvy – Behind the curated feeds and picture-perfect views, we share struggles and go through phases of inadequacy etc. Most share happy moments, this doesn’t mean that there are no unhappy moments
7. Think before you speak – Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? Will it add value? So, whilst you can’t control what others say, remember that you can always control yourself.
8. Celebrate the strengths of other women – The day you’re able to celebrate the strength of another woman and not see her as competition, is also a day where you have matured from girl to woman
9. Make that first move – Everyone is busy with this thing called life, so don’t be afraid to make effort to make contact – you’ll be amazed at how happy they will be to hear from you
10. Don’t take things personally – Look at things from the perspective of the other person. Being offended is a choice. Better the devil you know!
11. Listen to your inner voice – That “gut” feeling has almost always never failed me. I didn’t always listen to it and found out the hard way that I should have
12. Forgive – No matter how horrible people are towards you, always forgive, for your peace of mind
13. Forget, don’t hold grudges – Forget about the mistakes people made, give them the benefit of the doubt
14. Don’t hate – Hate is a feeling that takes up your energy, time and effort. Rather use your energy on positive feelings. Hate will not help achieve anything
15. Be kind – To the car guard, the waiter and other people providing a service – they appreciate and need your kindness more than you can imagine and you will know that when you see their reaction every time you do something to express your gratitude
16. Don’t be afraid to ask questions – Don’t fear that your question may be silly – you’re probably asking a question that others also want to be answered. Asking a question is not just to help you, but it also helps the speaker and gives him/her an indication that more clarity is required
17. Trust – Don’t trust someone because of past experiences – give each new person in your life a fair and clean opportunity to prove themselves trustworthy
18. Don’t assume/accuse – If you don’t have the facts, don’t assume and accuse
19. Don’t compare yourself to others – Be it your weight, exam results, salary, car, house, etc. regardless of what, don’t sell yourself short. Each person is unique, find your uniqueness and appreciate it. Comparing yourself to others may hinder you from your own personal growth
20. Be different – Your opinions don’t have to go with the flow, it’s okay to be different. Why fit in when you can stand out?
21. Love yourself first – Don’t look for love from others if you can’t love yourself first
22. Be fussy about who to include your circle – Be it friends, family or colleagues, if they’re not adding any value to your life, don’t allow them in your life. Rid yourself of toxic relationships
23. Learn to say “No” – There will be times you have to say No. Don’t feel bad, learn to say NO without any guilt, knowing that your time is precious and that you’d much rather be investing it in a way that adds value to your life
24. Also learn to say “YES” – Demonstrate a willingness to help, to learn, to grow
25. Honesty IS the best policy – No matter how bad the truth is, it’s always better to be honest
26. Be You, unapologetically so – Don’t be afraid to be yourself. It’s better to be hated for who you truly are than to be loved for someone you pretend to be
27. Always be grateful – It’s so easy to complain. Task yourself to make a daily/weekly/monthly/annual list of things in your life that you are grateful for
28. Express your appreciation – Remember to say “thanks” to the people who matter and for their acts of service to and for you
29. Express your love – Never take love for granted, be it for your partner, your parents, your children, your siblings, your friends…let them know that you love them, regularly, sometimes, that’s all they want to hear
30. Read Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages Book – This book will help you to understand your own love language and those around you, empowering you to understand and reciprocate love in the desired and preferred manner
31. Let go of the past – It does not have to define who you are, it can fuel you with the energy to be who you desire to be in the future but more importantly, to act on it in the present. If you live too much in yesterday, you will miss out on today
32. Don’t act in anger – If you’re frustrated or angry, take a few deep breaths or walk away. Address the matter when you are feeling more rational
33. Sometimes you WIN, sometimes you LEARN – Mistakes can be your best teacher and it can also aspire you to be more creative, trying to find alternate solutions
34. If it doesn’t make you happy, don’t do it – Don’t do things for the sake of doing them. If it doesn’t make you feel good within, then why do it?
35. Be selfish – Please yourself first, everyone else thereafter
36. LIVE life, don’t just be ALIVE – Life is meant to be experienced. Don’t get so caught up in your career that you spend time after hours working as well – neglecting your health, your family and your personal goals. Have you ever heard of anyone on their death bed, saying, “I wish I worked longer hours?”
37. Just do it, NOW – If you want to do something, don’t wait for tomorrow or a new year, do it now! Don’t procrastinate, tomorrow may never come
38. Spend time alone – Every so often, it’s important to take time out to reflect – refocus, realign, refresh and reinforce positive thoughts into your state of mind – to keep track of your goals
39. Not everyone will like/love you – As much as you may want to be liked/loved by everyone, that’s not always going to happen that’s okay, it’s not the end of the world if someone doesn’t like you or you don’t like someone
40. Define what happiness means to YOU – It’s not about what you have, but about how you use what you have. People are not going to remember you by your bank balance, but they will remember how you treated them and the impact you made in their lives.