“My fists are clenched. Palms are sweating. I haven’t felt such anger within. It’s the deceit that has made me feel this way. I’m so out of control, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s come over me. I just know I hate that you lied. I told you secrets I never told anyone. I gave you the best parts of me and that was all of me. You robbed me of my innocence. You’ve robbed me of the ability to trust again. You told me you’d never lie but I couldn’t see that was a lie until it was too late. You told me you loved me but I didn’t know it means nothing to you. I build my world around you. I ended friendships because of you. I lost family because I chose you. You…you were my world. Now my world has crumbled apart because of YOU!”

Have you ever felt this way? You’re not the first and you certainly won’t be the last. Somehow, when we love, we allow ourselves to go…to a point where we become strangers to ourselves. We allow another person’s actions to bring us down. We lose ourselves, we forget about what we like and what we want to do because we get so engaged in trying to please the other person. We get lost from the rest of the world, because our only focus becomes that person. That’s where we go wrong. Being in love or loving someone, does not mean you should give up all you enjoy, be it hobbies, work, friends or family. This type of behavior is immature and irrational. A mature relationship is accepting and understanding each other as individuals. Then there’s that lovely word compromise, for the things you don’t always see eye to eye on.

When you are an individual and respect yourself as that, you set yourself standards, not just for yourself but within your relationship as well. It’s a sense of independence. Because you know who you are and are independent, there’s no need to build your life around someone else. When you need someone so much, it becomes desperate and the more desperate you become, the less attractive you are to the other person, making you more obsessive because you adapt a nature which has controlling and obsessive traits. Thus, when your relationship ends, you’re unable to accept or deal with it, because you’ve forgotten how to love yourself. You don’t know how to accept yourself. Because you spent your time trying to be all and give all to the other person, who you thought would last for eternity.

Don’t allow your happiness or state of mind to depend on someone else. Learn to be emotionally dependent. Love yourself. Learn how to enjoy your own company. If someone in life lets you down, put on your big girl panties and pick yourself up, just ‘cos you can!


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