“You’re a mum. You’re over 40. It’s not professional.” Those are just some of the mild negative comments about me being on TikTok. I could probably imagine what else has been said, but I honestly don’t have the time…cos I’m too busy thinking about the next TikTok video I’m going to make. Yes, I’m on TikTok, so what?

So what if I am a mum or wife, why should I NOT be on TikTok? Should mums and wives not have fun too? Do we not have the right to express ourselves? I am an individual, I have a personality, even if others don’t find it funny or entertaining, I enjoy the fact that I am able to express myself.

The majority of feedback that I have received directly, was positive. Loved ones were and are happy to see me dance, pretend to sing or act crazy when I share my videos with them. It helps moreso that we can’t visit each other. But am I doing it for them, who are not even on TikTok, or could I be doing it to gain more followers? Of course it would be great to grow my following but that’s not the reason I am on TikTok.

I’ve always wanted to join TikTok but didn’t have the time. That changed when I joined during lockdown and I have absolutely no regrets! It’s the platform where I feel most comfortable. Those of you who are dominantly left-brained won’t understand that. Us creatives thrive with such platforms – it’s an outlet to unleash our creativity, yes, I know some of you may call it crazy, etc. Quite frankly, I’d rather be that kind of crazy – the one who pretends to sing along to feel-good music and dance because it creates endorphins.

I am on TikTok because I want to be. I make the videos I do, for my own pleasure. It makes ME feel good. My husband and child are also entertained when they see me making TikTok videos, although I have made most of them when Kayden is asleep so that I don’t rob him of our time together. None of my posts have even gone viral and perhaps they never will but that doesn’t matter. What matters most is that I am having fun. Whilst other people may have handled the lockdown differently, this has been my vice – if I may call it that, saviour sounds too religious right now.

I used to love going to clubs and I still love dancing so TikTok has ignited that fun part in me again – which kinda took a backseat before the lockdown. My husband isn’t a dancer and I’d much rather be at home with my husband and child than go a club – but now I can dance away (freestyle of course) whilst I’m mopping or sweeping away…TikTok

@nicolasubben

I can’t NOT dance to this song! #djjazzyd #ladysoul #southafrica #tiktoksouthafrica #tiktokdurban #tiktokdurbz #clubsong #duetme #dancewithme #trendy

♬ Lady Soul – Dj Jazzy D The GrooveMaster

The point of this post…let people be, do and say what they want to and how they want to. What works for you won’t always work for someone else. We are all different. Embrace those differences. If you rather sit in a corner feeling sorry for yourself, then do that if you must, but don’t judge me for singing some place else other than the shower.

I love the individuality I see on TikTok – where people of all colours, shapes and sizes are doing their thing, or trying to and when they fail a trend, they post that too – cos it’s all just fun. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laughed at myself! Some people deal better through challenging situations through humour and through distractions.

There are entertainers and then there’s an audience, if you’re in the audience, don’t be throwing shade at those who put themselves out there. It takes a lot more courage to put yourself out there than to just observe or shall I use the term “comments from the peanut gallery!” Besides, if you judge me by my TikToks, you may just be as crazy as some of the content I’ve posted…just saying.

Before COVID-19, certain professions were judged as being inferior – now look at those services which seemed “less important”- we should use this as a lesson in life – that we all have strengths and weaknesses. One day, my weakness may become your strength. This lockdown has made me realise so much more on a deeper level but that’s a post for another day.

I’ll leave you with this…we only have one life, so I’ve chosen to live my best life, as best as I possibly can under any circumstance. I do what makes ME happy. I dance like no one is watching.I laugh at myself if I must. Life is too short to inhibit myself, fearing what others think of me. Don’t judge me – you don’t know my story, you don’t know my thoughts, my fears and my challenges. What I share, is what I choose to share.

Sometimes, for some, it’s easier to smile through tough times. If we all made an effort to stop judging, bullying and making fun of other people, we will collectively make this world a better place – so let’s just be nice and do that, okay? If you can’t do that…keep your opinions to yourself.

Oh wait…one more thing…if you’re on TikTok – let me know, or better still, let’s vibe and be crazy together whilst apart!

You can find me by searching for name & surname or click here: Nicola Subben

@nicolasubben

Being judged for being on #TikTok ? Watch to the end… #motivation #dowhatmakesyouhappy #quarantinemoves #duetme #idontknowmuch #southafrica

♬ Dont know much Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt – 🦋⚮🌸TᖇᗩᑕEY🌸⚮🦋

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