Cheating in a relationship can be a painful and difficult experience, and it’s important to have the tools to know if your partner is being faithful or not. If you suspect that your partner may be cheating, it can be easy to feel paranoid and overwhelmed by emotions, but there are ways to determine the truth and find peace of mind. In this post, lets first have a look at the emotions being cheated on may cause you to feel and we will then have a look at the obvious and not so obvious signs that your partner may be cheating on you. To offer some guidance, we will then look at some do’s and don’ts.

I want to include that this comes from my heart because even though I am in a happy marriage, I know what it’s like to be cheated on. I experienced it more than once in my life before I met my husband. I know how it feels and I know that emotions can sometimes get the better of us.

Being cheated on by someone you love, and trust is a devastating experience.

It can make you feel overwhelmed with emotions such as:

  1. Betrayal: The sense that someone who was supposed to have your back, betrayed you and broke the trust you had in them.
  2. Heartbreak: Your heart aches and feels shattered as the person you thought was your soulmate has caused you immense pain.
  3. Worthlessness: You may feel as if you aren’t good enough, and question what you did wrong that led your partner to cheat.
  4. Anger: The deep-seated anger that someone you loved and cared for could do this to you can consume you.
  5. Loneliness: The feeling of being all alone, even when surrounded by people, can be crippling.
  6. Confusion: Your mind can become clouded with thoughts as you try to understand why this happened, making it difficult to think clearly.

The emotions of being cheated on can be truly overwhelming and can leave a lasting impact on your life. It’s important to understand that these emotions are normal and to seek support from friends, family, or seek professional help to help you process and heal.

There were times I sought help much too late – blaming myself or thinking that I was being paranoid. If only I had listened to my gut – in my case, my gut was always right. I felt like I was a private investigator at one stage because in order to act on my gut feeling, I needed evidence. However, I was young and immature and I sometimes allowed my emotions to get the better of me – by reacting out of anger instead of gathering evidence and rationally having a proactive approach. If you are going through this in your life right now, I hope that this blogpost will be helpful to you or to someone you know.

Here are some obvious and not-so-obvious signs that your partner may be cheating:

  1. Changes in behavior: If your partner is suddenly acting differently, such as being more distant, spending more time away from home, or being less affectionate, this could be a sign that they’re cheating.
  2. Mysterious phone activity: If your partner is always on their phone, hides their phone screen from you, or changes their password, it could be a sign that they’re communicating with someone they don’t want you to know about.
  3. Changes in physical appearance: If your partner is suddenly making more effort with their appearance, or wearing more stylish or revealing clothing, it could be a sign that they’re trying to impress someone else.
  4. Secretiveness: If your partner is suddenly more secretive about their whereabouts, who they’re talking to, or what they’re doing, it could be a sign that they’re hiding something from you.
  5. Increased use of technology: If your partner is using new or different apps, social media accounts, or email addresses, it could be a sign that they’re communicating with someone they don’t want you to know about.

To find out for sure if your partner is cheating, it’s important to approach the situation with care and sensitivity.

Here are some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind if you suspect cheating:


  • Communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your concerns and give them a chance to explain their behavior.
  • Gather evidence if you have concerns about your partner’s activity, such as looking at their phone, computer, or social media accounts, but be careful not to invade their privacy.
  • Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist if you’re feeling overwhelmed or paranoid.


  • Jump to conclusions without evidence. Assumptions and accusations can damage the relationship and make it harder to find out the truth.
  • Confront your partner in a hostile or accusatory manner, as this can lead to defensiveness and further damage the relationship.
  • Ignore your gut feelings, as they are often a good indicator of something being wrong.
  • Allow past experiences with cheating partners to cloud your judgment and cause you to assume that your current partner is also cheating, without any evidence.

It’s important to remember that cheating is not always the reason for changes in behavior or activity, and it’s possible to be paranoid without good reason. By approaching the situation with care and seeking support, you can determine the truth and find peace of mind. If your partner is cheating, it’s important to address the situation and work towards a resolution, either by repairing the relationship or ending it if necessary.

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