Who are you really? Who do you want to be? Are you comfortable being you? Or do you portray an image of what others expect you to be? In this post, I am going to share with you why I think it’s exhausting to be the latter. Just BE than seem to be.
On social media, do you post as much or any pictures of your garden in winter? (Assuming you don’t have green grass and evergreen trees surrounded by beautiful and colour flowers as you do in summer) Do you perhaps post pictures or videos of yourself screaming at your kids? Do you post pictures of yourself when you’re at your worst? Get my point?
Yes, we CHOOSE what we want to share and sometimes that can appear as if we always have it together. In reality, we don’t, well, not all of us. And if you do, well then, good for you, no, great actually!
Somehow, somewhere along the line, we slipped up. We became our own prisoners. It’s that day we decided to have a curated feed. It’s that day we decided everything should follow a pattern or a trend. Cos really, what would happen to our online reputation if we went astray from the norm and showed our true colours!
You see, a lot would happen if we did indeed show our true colours. Within limits of course – whatever you’re comfortable sharing but it should be balanced. When you focus too much about your appearance and how you should seem to be than just be, we are missing the point.
Does that really inspire everyone? I’ve seen so many posts about people being uninspired and feeling inferior because of all the perfect looking houses, marriages, relationships, models, mothers etc. that they see on social media.It’s a reality that some people actually get depressed by the “perfect” lives they see being depicted.
Just BE than SEEM to BE- Is it a crime not to have it all together?
Why are we so obsessed with competition? Why does it have to be about competition? When you are competitive in this manner – it’s not healthy. We are not uplifting each other because it’s a continuous battle to see who gets more likes, comments, followers etc. When you overexert yourself by seeming to be what you think others would like to see, you’re missing an opportunity to just BE, to just BE YOU. Trust me when I say, it’s better to just BE than seem to be.
Is it a crime to be and feel tired? Is it a crime to make a mistake? Is it a crime to feel lost and lonely? It is a crime to say you don’t know or that you didn’t do something? Are these not the REAL things? The things that make you human. The things that make you relatable. What you may not realise is that it takes time and effort to seem to be than to just be.
Just BE than SEEM to BE – Keeping it Real
The comparison, the unhealthy competition, the fear and the shame is what influences one to seem to be than to just be. Isn’t it better to genuinely be a good wife or mother than to seem to portray the image of being one on social media? Isn’t it more rewarding to actually scrub a pot with some new or trusted detergent, than to pose with it for a picture because you received it as a gift!
Isn’t it being authentic when you don’t post on social media about how wonderful a show is, when you don’t actually like it but everyone else on social media is raving about it? Isn’t it relieving just to think that you could share with your friends or family or community that you’re feeling depressed opposed to putting on some makeup, forcing a smile, wiping away tears, etc. to appear like you’re on top of the world?
You see, it’s easier to follow the crowd because it’s easy to get lost in the crowd. It takes courage to stand out or speak up, because of fear, in so many ways. But if we are so consumed in seeming to be, we will never discover who we are truly meant to be. If we put on an act, we will also never reach out to people who are in similar situations who we can or help or whom can help us.
Just BE than SEEM to BE – I’m only human
At some point or the other, most of us finds or will find ourselves in this situation – should I go with the flow or should I stick to my gut? I too am guilty of this – I recently posted a video on my IG TV on Instagram with my child passionately talking about his construction vehicle. The surrounds were untidy at the time, we were busy sorting out the garage. I chose to post it – it wasn’t picture perfect in Instagram fashion but it was special to me. It was my child, I was and am proud of what he said and that untidy garage, well, it’s what it is or was at the time.
A few days ago, I also posted something on Facebook leaning toward a seeking a sense of validation which could have made me look weak and probably did. But I was being real. I didn’t realise it at the time of posting, but by the next day, I realised it was my hormones and a case of PMS. But so what if I had a weak moment where I didn’t seem to have it all together and if I didn’t, that’s just how I felt at the time. I will however write another post on validation…soon.
My life is not perfect and I hope that I never give you the impression it is. I rather be honest about my struggle because I do believe it’s better to just BE than seem to be.
Whatever you’re going through in life, someone else is as well. It’s okay not to be okay all the time. It’s okay to share when things are not working out, when sharing it in the right community, you will get support and/or you will be helping someone else who needs support.
If you’re not comfortable to share within your current community, then recheck who’s part of your community. Make changes. De-clutter. Surround yourself with people that you do not feel intimidated by. People who will love and respect you for being you. People who will not judge you or your circumstances. People who are not just there to observe but to interact and share thoughts, opinions and ideas with. There are too many fake people around. It’s time to shine. It’s time to just BE than seem to be.
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