I am still somewhat in awe of what the Lockdown has forced upon us. In my previous post – Part 1 of Lockdown Lifestyle, I shared the impact it has on us in terms of cooking, quality time together and our eating habits. In this post, I am going to reflect on the housework and on social media and I am going to share a personal important life lesson that I learned from all of this.
Part 2 – Housework, Home and Social Media
I’ve never been a fan of housework – well, not if I had to do things myself. Of course I appreciated what now seems like a luxury, to have domestic help. I’m one of those people who likes to have things in it’s place, I thrive in an environment that is neat. I admit that I do have some OCD tendencies – okay…that’s perhaps an understatement.
After Kayden came along, some of those OCD tendencies flew out the window eventually – I somehow managed to get used to having toys lying around, sometimes even tripping on them. It’s a shocker for me that it got to this stage, but it is what it is.
When you have domestic help around, you don’t notice it so much, because things are being cleaned and tidied but when you do it yourself and you have to do it a few times over, then you suddenly feel the pain.
However, in saying that, I have to strangely admit that I have been enjoying housework during the lockdown! Why? You may ask. Well…let me explain…
Ironing:
I find ironing therapeutic and because I don’t iron each time I do washing, I end up standing for hours at a time, doing ironing, until my husband has to ask me to take a break – I think it’s more tiring for him to watch me iron.
Pots and Pans
Whilst most people loathe dish washing, I enjoy this too. Especially when I find pots or pans that should be stainless steel and are not! I scrub them until they’re stainless steel again. Even cutlery that has grooves – dirt gets stuck in there and if it’s stainless steel, no black marks must be visible. Same with my oven and its racks or oven dishes! If you’re reading this, some of you may probably think I’m crazy but I know there’s a bunch of you like me, who will get this! It’s so satisfying!
De-cluttering
With, or without domestic help, I am always de-cluttering – I find this therapeutic too. Ha…ha…you’re probably wondering why I need so much of therapy – well, if I can’t get it in the form of a glorious day at the spa, I may as well find alternate methods and this being an example that I CAN actually share and write about. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
In the spirit of keeping things real, let me also share that I am a Libra, a typical one, so what it means in this instance – is that sometimes when the scales are off balance – I can be very lazy until such time that it irritates me and I get up and embark on operation clean-up. The colder days recently have made it a little less inviting to spend time in the scullery but I don’t have a dishwasher so fortunately I have a husband who helps too.
Home
With so much of time being spent at work, it sometimes felt that we just lived in a house – someplace to sleep. I have never felt more at home than I have during this lockdown because I’ve never really had the time to enjoy home, as bizarre as this may sound! Was always too busy doing things, to just sit back and relax or to get off my rear and clean and tidy and sort things out the way that I want them!
To have hubby and my child help in various de-cluttering missions, is just a bonus. Kayden calls it teamwork and I milk it for all that it’s worth. “Kayden…let me see how fast you can pass me this or that please…” “Yes Mum, in a flash…like Flash,” I just had to unashamedly include this so one day many years from now when he gets to read my blog, he’ll know about these things I used to coerce him into doing.
Social Media
I took an incidental break
So whilst I have been unleashing creativity (or craziness if you prefer) on TikTok during this lockdown – (click here if you haven’t already read my post on this), I took a break from Instagram and Facebook. I cannot begin to explain how rewarding it was!
I checked notifications on Facebook every now and again but I didn’t go scrolling up and down my Newsfeed as I’d normally do. I opened Instagram once or twice but it was by mistake and I immediately closed the app.
Controlling what I am exposed to on Social Media
Before this, I thought I was in control of my social media newsfeeds but clearly I was not. This unintended detox was what I needed! It made me realise that I have so much of content that was not purposeful on my feeds, which I followed/liked.
I have started to fix that on Instagram. With regards to Facebook, although I have done this a few times in the past, I still need to de-clutter again. I’m going to categorise as well and things that are repeated across social media platforms, I will eliminate, as I don’t have to see the same things being repeated. I do have some social distancing to enforce here, to make my feeds more qualitative. Following or liking too many pages/groups/people isn’t cool anymore…no, not at all.
So whilst de-cluttering my home felt so good, social media too, has had the same effect on me. With the amount of time I spend on my phone, I need to be more consistent in controlling what I expose myself too. Things/People that don’t add value or are negative etc. – I am distancing myself from such. Whilst we are encouraged to practice physical distancing and maximise and connect on social media platforms, it’s important what and who we choose to allow into our social media “space”.
Maybe something worked for me in the past – like pregnancy or baby related content – but I’m not in that phase anymore, so I’ve unfollowed/unliked these type of things, as an example. Lockdown made me do it, seriously, it’s amazing how much one can do when you have the time to do it.
Because I have made these changes and still busy with it, I can now engage more with the people/brands that really matter. As a blogger, I fell into the trap of trying to grow my following at one or two stages – but it actually hurt me, when I followed PR agencies and/or brands as an example, in the hope of being recognised. I’m done with that. Done. Done. Done.
Life Lesson courtesy of the lockdown
One of the biggest lessons this lockdown has taught me is that life is too short to expose yourself to things and people that don’t matter! Be present (even online) where it matters most and choose carefully those you allow in your presence – because even if it’s only on social media – that’s part of your life, whether we like to admit it or not – we DO spend a lot of time there. So who we surround ourselves with even on social media, can and will impact our mindsets. I didn’t realise how this affected me, until I had that break for a few weeks. The bitching and moaning and attention seeking posts that popped up on my newsfeed, was something I didn’t miss. You should try it and let me know if and when you do.
So, why do I even continue to blog, when I seldom get anyone commenting on my blogposts? Well, it’s because it’s an outlet for me and one day I want my child to read my blog. That matters to me. So for that reason, I will continue to blog, even if it sometimes feels as if I am writing to myself – then I guess it’s an online journal. It makes me happy, so yay, I’ll do it and I’ll do it my way.
In the end, whatever algorithm worked and didn’t, won’t be important, life can’t be measured by the number of views/or likes we get on social media. People can be anything they portray themselves to be. What matters is that you’re true to yourself and your loved ones because there is no greater feeling in the world than to be appreciated for YOU.
So many people put on a facade, not just through the makeup but in many other ways – there are lots of people who are afraid to expose or express themselves. It’s easier for them to depict themselves in a manner which they think they’re supposed to be seen and in that way, they themselves may even miss the opportunity to know themselves.
I wish we lived in a world where we were all comfortable to be ourselves, without the need to impress others. I’m not saying don’t impress, but don’t do it at the expense of losing yourself. It’s better to be disliked for what you truly are than to be loved for what you pretend to be.
Ask yourself this question – are you comfortable to be you, or afraid? Are you worried about how you will be seen? That if you shared your thoughts and dreams, that you won’t be accepted? Courage is about overcoming fear, so be fearless and be YOU because when someone loves YOU, they will love you will all your flaws too.
I’ve totally drifted off topic…but hey – that’s just me being me…always having so much to say. Believe it or not…I do have quiet moments and I enjoy them very much. I love being in my own company, it’s one of my favourite things cos I use the time to reflect.
On that note, if you have been following me on social media and you’re in a different phase, where you’ve assessed your needs and I don’t add any value or interest in any way, do not be afraid to unfollow me or unsubscribe from this blog. Growing up is when we are mature enough to make decisions to let go of the things and people in our lives that no longer add any value.
If on the other hand, you do enjoy my approach to life…I’m just going to drop my social media links below – you know what to do. Let’s connect and engage – I’d love to inspire and be inspired too. Let me know if you have learned any lessons as a result of the lockdown.
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Instagram: Nicola Subben
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Twitter: Nicola Subben
TikTok: Nicola Subben
