So today’s post is a little different. It’s been 14 years since my mother passed away. I thought I would dedicate this post to her by sharing with you, my message to my late mom.

There is a reason for me to do this, well more than one reason. Firstly, I always feel solace when I am immersed in my thoughts during writing. Secondly, for some reason the anniversary of her death day this year has made me feel more emotional than ever. I realised that it’s because I would have wanted her to meet my son, Kayden. I recall having a similar feeling the day I got married, wishing that she was there to experience and share in my joy.

And lastly, I hope to inspire those of you who are fortunate to have your parents still around. Time is way too precious, and we should not take it for granted! But we do, don’t we? We should not wait until it’s too late, to say or do something that’s on our minds. Being a parent isn’t easy and you probably will never understand the depth of this statement, until you yourself become a parent.

What once seemed a simple decision, isn’t anymore. Parents are certainly not perfect, they do make mistakes. Parents have feelings and emotions as well, going through things in life that they were not prepared for and they don’t always know how to deal with it. Some of them do, but many of them don’t. Sometimes their own experiences are reflective in their behaviour. Some of them have coping mechanisms, some don’t. Parents may have the best intentions, but it doesn’t always go as planned.

FORGIVE and forget. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

My mother and I didn’t have the perfect mother-daughter relationship, in fact, it was very far from that. I did however make peace with her before she died and I can’t imagine how I would feel right now if that had not happened.

So, my message to you today, is to try to make peace with your family. We are all human, and by that very nature, we make mistakes and hopefully we learn from them. Some of the valuable lessons here:

  • Don’t have grudges
  • If something is on your mind, speak about it
  • Be supportive
  • Be empathetic
  • Appreciate your family and the times you spend together
  • You only have one shot at it, so make it count

Message to My Late Mom

I wish you could see me now.

I am a happily married wife.

I wish you met my husband,

But you did, when he was my primary school crush.

After all those years, we are married now.

I know you would have loved him,

Many of his traits remind me of you.

I am happy and I am blessed,

I wish you could see me now.


I wish you could see me now.

I am a mother now.

My heart skips a beat each time I look at my child,

When I wish that you could have met him.

I know that you would have loved him so much,

You always preferred boys over girls.

He points to your photo on the wall,

When we ask him “where’s grand mum’s photo”?

He’s the cutest little human,

My precious little son,

I wish you could see him now.


I wish you could see me now.

I have my own little family,

Something I always dreamed of.

It didn’t work out for you,

But it did for me.

I wish you could have experienced love like I do now,

I wish you didn’t have to hurt like you did.

I wish I was older then, to help you and to understand you,

Which not many or anyone seemed to.

One things for sure,

You made me strong.

In your unconventional ways, you taught me how to survive.

Visualisations of my childhood linger in my mind,

You opened me up to so many things that most in my midst didn’t hear of or experience.

Sometimes I hated the things you said or did,

I didn’t understand it then.

But I do now.

It’s made me a woman of strength, a fighter, a survivor.


Message to my Late Mom Pamela - PeanutGallery247

My mother, Pamela, was an excellent cook. She made the most delicious German cuisine I have ever tasted. She also cooked Indian food very well. She and the Weber braai were best friends, things that one wouldn’t even make on a braai, my mother made to perfection.

My mother loved dressing and she had the figure to rock a mini skirt and shorts. Back in the day, when my mother attended functions at school, she used to raise eyebrows with her sense of fashion – it was a very conservative community then. She loved fine fragrances and always had the best of them, which is why to this day, I still wear some of her favourites.

She was very kind and lavish. If you were a friend or family, she showered you with all kinds of gifts, from perfume to jewellery. Christmas for us was like Santa Claus really dropped all the gifts down our chimney. It wasn’t just the gifts, it was the food and a huge variety of it. All the traditional stuff you would expect at a Christmas dinner, only more, with the matching tablecloth and crockery to go with it. We always had a genuine Christmas Tree which we would plant in the yard thereafter.

She was stubborn and straight forward. You either hated or loved her. She always spoke her mind. You always knew where you stood with her. People feared her because of her sense of authority. But people looked up to her and admired her as well. If you got on her wrong side, then best you keep your distance from her.

But she was a carefree spirit, and if she wanted to dance, which she absolutely loved, then no one was going to tell her otherwise. She lived her life to the fullest, she did what she wanted to without any reservations. I don’t think there are many people who have experienced all that she did in her lifetime.

She was damn intelligent. She knew something about everything. She was a very good judge of character as far as I can recall. She could tell who to trust and who not to.

She loved her family. She always brought the family together. She was fun. When “Pam” was around, everyone knew that there will be booze and good food and fun, fun, fun. She loved alcohol, sometimes too much.

My mother loved music, all types. Some of her favourites included “Red, Red Wine” by UB40, “Could you be loved” by Bob Marley, “Simply the Best” by Tina Turner and “Please Don’t make me cry” by UB40. Before she passed away, the song I recall that she listened to most, was “D’yer Maker” by Led Zeppelin. For this very reason, I played this song at her funeral.

Writing this post, has made me feel so much prouder about my Mother and all that she was, I am proud to be her daughter.

As always, I would love your thoughts, feelings/comments below…

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25 Replies to “Message to my Late Mom”

  1. Yes my darling niece, she was exactly how you described her, miss my big sis but glad to have spent her last years with her she would have been so proud of you

  2. This is so beautiful! I am so sorry that you lost her, but I’m sure she would be proud of you.

    Also, thank you for the reminder. I see/talk to my mom on a daily basis, but not my dad. I think I’ll reach out to him after reading this. 🙂

  3. I didn’t meet your mum sadly but knowing you over many years I can attest that you a chip of her block. You are beautiful, daring and caring ❣️❣️❣️.. your intellectual ability is a trait dating back to 1998 and you continue to grow and take things in your stride. As your friend I know your mum is super proud of the daughter, wife and mum you are. I also agree that life is way too short to be anything but happy ❤️

    1. Thanks Calleen, your kind words means so much to me, as always. Thanks for taking the time to read and to share your sentiments.

    1. Thank you for visting my blog and reading this post and furthermore commenting, I appreciate it 🙂 I hope you find peace in wonderful memories shared with your dad, but I know that’s easier said than done.

  4. Still remember her so clearly. Beautiful message. I feel the same when I think of my dad. They would be so proud. I’m sure your mum is smiling down with pride and love for you and your gorgeous family.

    1. Thanks Sharlet, no doubt that your dad would have been so proud of you and your wonderful family too, I share your exact sentiments

  5. PAM. One fine lady. A Very responsible person. Single mum but took good care of her children. She led an open book life. There were no secrets with her. She could tell it like the way it is. Very brilliant in high school. Completed her schooling in Clairwood but settled in Jhb. She believed that education was of the utmost importance . May her soul rest in peace.

    I married her cousin Logan. She was very disappointed that she could not make it to our wedding. Pam made a special trip down to Durban . She entertained us for the weekend and presented us with cash equal to the amount that it would have cost her if she flew down for the wedding. She was a remarkable woman. Kind hearted. Loving. What she sowed in others lives, she reaped in her daughter Nicks. Wish u were here to meet your adorable grandson Pam. RIP.

    1. Iris thank you for taking the time to share this about my mom, something I didn’t know…about your wedding. One day Kayden will read this post and your comment and I know he will be glad to be reading it. Thank you so much for these 2 photos, as you can see, I put it to good use🤗😘

  6. A remarkable women indeed Nics and I had the pleasure of knowing her for a short space of time. I did love her dressing sense and wished I cud rock those shorts like she did. She was learned and experienced and that came from her travels as well. May her soul rip. Thinking about u my friend. Love u lots

  7. A wonderful message dedicated to your mother!! Sometimes you don’t have words to express!! Absolutely thought shared for not having grudges in life as life is too short!! Live life fullest as if it is your last day!! Without regrets live your life as by the end of the day it’s your life and emotions!!
    Wonderful post and thank you for sharing

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