The things in life that were meant to break me,
have often been the things that have allowed me to grow, both mentally and emotionally.
I’ve cried myself to sleep many times in the past,
I’ve suffered in silence.

I had to go through a lot to get to where I am now.
People have often said, “I don’t know how you dealt with that” and I’d respond by saying “I didn’t have a choice”.

You see, my passion burned brighter than my fears.
I wasn’t born a strong woman, the challenges in life have made me strong.

There were so many times that I could have blamed circumstances but instead I didn’t let those circumstances define me.
I’ve hit rock bottom more than once and I got up stronger because I have a warrior spirit within.

I’ve been perceived as being stubborn or unfriendly at times and I’m OK with that because I refuse to be disrespected & mistreated.
I don’t suck up because I know my worth and if someone else can’t see that, well then, that’s their problem.
I’d rather walk away because it takes courage to do so than to tolerate anything or anyone who makes me feel less than happy.

The world doesn’t see my tears or my fears.
I’ve done a good job of hiding them, sometimes even from myself and to my own detriment.
Sometimes I’ve held back the tears because I thought I had to be strong all the time.

But why?

Could it be that I was afraid of what others may think?
Could it be because I was afraid of “giving up too soon”?
Could it be that I was afraid to feel? Afraid to feel weak?
How could I be weak when everyone expected me to be strong?
Was it the fear of change?
Was it the fear of failure?
Was it the fear of inadequacy?
Or could it have just been all of that?

If you’re following me on Instagram, you may have come across some posts that I’ve shared about my “Journey of Self-Reflection” – I haven’t quite gotten into depth and I have delayed it. I’ve been building up the courage, the courage to share some of my mistakes, discoveries and lessons as I reflect and I aim to share this dauntlessly so.

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𝙅𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙍𝙚𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 I’ve neglected the power of #selfreflection. It used to be something I did often but I haven’t been doing it enough and it’s long overdue! To me, self reflection is like #problemsolving: You look back at what worked out and what didn’t go well. Then you plan and execute the necessary steps toward corrective action. At this step, it’s vital to make peace with and to accept what didn’t go well in order to move on. The reality of this is that some things are within our control and some not. When we are able to recognize and accept which are and which are not – it becomes easier to create focus on the things you want to change…because it’s within your control. I used to spend quite some time thinking about things that were not within my control and it weighed me down! When I took the time to self reflect – those stressors were eliminated and I also felt empowered by the things I realized which were within my control. Over the past few days, I took a step back as I decided to personally reflect on my life and even I myself am shocked at how much has happened. There’s been life altering situations and I honestly didn’t deal with it all. It’s been easier to block some things out or to “be positive” and hope for the best. But that “being positive attitude” has also been disadvantageous to me because certain feelings were suppressed. I’m going to be exposing myself, my fears, my mistakes and my weaknesses in the next few posts through my personal journey of self reflection, in the hope that if there’s anyone else that’s felt or feeling this way too, will be inspired and/or share with me how you’ve overcome these challenges. So yes, this is an old photo but it’s one of my favourites and looking back at old photos has reminded me of ME – the ME that’s been less “present” for a while now. If this post resonates with you…then do feel free to join me on my journey of self reflection. #PeanutGallery247 #keepingitreal #personalreflection #lifechanges #lifechallenges #facingyourfears #facingreality #copingmechanisms #dealingwithlife #sablogger #mommyblogger #parentingblogger #lifelessons #everyonehasastory

A post shared by Peanut Gallery 247 (@nicolasubben) on

It takes some effort to post a pretty picture on social media but it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there by sharing your mishaps, fears and insecurities. So why then would I even choose to go that route?

It’s simple; it’s because I hope my lessons in life will motivate and inspire others, especially you reading this blog post – that’s the very reason I began blogging in the first place.

Would you like to read more about my Journey of Self Reflection?


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