A Personal Reflection

Parenting is not easy. There are days when it feels like you’re failing at everything, no matter how hard you try. This past weekend and the days following were a stark reminder of just how challenging this journey can be. Let me add, before I became a parent, it all looked so easy. I used to judge other parents, thinking I know better.

A Heartbreaking Weekend

On Saturday, I faced a situation that left me heartbroken. My son, Kayden, decided to cut his eyebrows, trying to get rid of his unibrow. Unfortunately, his attempt left him with patches on both eyebrows. When I asked him why he did it, he shared that a girl at school had made fun of his unibrow. Hearing this, I felt a pang of guilt and sadness.

This is what his eyebrows looked like before the incident. I’m not at all comfortable to share what it looked like after he had “altered” them.

Kayden’s revelation hit me hard because I realised that in the past week, I had been so preoccupied with my grandmother’s illness that I hadn’t been there for him as much as I usually am. We have a routine of having “sensitive” and heartfelt conversations at bedtime, but with my gran needing constant care, we missed out on those important moments. It made me feel like I had neglected Kayden when he needed me the most.


A Difficult Monday Morning

On Monday morning, I used some brow powder to fill in the patches, hoping to prevent further teasing at school. Kayden wasn’t happy about it—he didn’t like the idea of having “makeup” on. But I was afraid that if he went to school with his eyebrows looking the way they did, it would draw unwanted attention and possibly more mockery.

I shared this on my Facebook page: Peanut Gallery 247, it was a vulnerable moment, admitting that no matter how much we talk to our kids about body shaming and kindness, sometimes, hurtful words still get through.

Disappointment and a Demerit

AI generated image

Then, just as I was coming to terms with this, something else happened on Tuesday. Kayden received his first demerit at school! The incident that led to this demerit involved an exchange of words between him and two other kids. According to Kayden, one of the kids called me, his mum, “fat.” This upset Kayden, leading him to retaliate by saying the same or something similar to the other child.

I have had many conversations with Kayden about body shaming and about appreciating the differences that people have. My heart goes out to him for coming to my defense, but I also know that two wrongs don’t make a right. It was deeply disappointing to see him act against the values I’ve tried so hard to instill in him. These were behaviours I had explicitly told him were wrong, and yet, he went ahead and did it.

This series of events left me emotionally drained and questioning my effectiveness as a parent. It felt like I was failing at the very things I’ve worked so hard to teach Kayden. Parenting is not easy, and there are moments when it feels overwhelmingly hard.

Tips for Navigating Parenting Challenges

While I’m still processing these events, here are a few tips that I hope can help other parents facing similar challenges:

  1. Open Communication: Keep the lines of communication open with your children. Even when life gets busy, try to make time for those “sensitive” conversations. They can make a big difference in how your child handles difficult situations. I have Kayden’s undivided attention for such conversations at bedtime (not when he is sleepy), this is our “safe space” to talk about matters of the heart without anyone else or any distractions around.
  2. Model Empathy: Show empathy towards your child’s feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel hurt and that their emotions are valid. This helps build their emotional intelligence and resilience.
  3. Teach Kindness and Awareness: Continually reinforce the importance of kindness and the impact of words. Create awareness about body shaming and other forms of teasing and explain why such behaviour is hurtful.
  4. Consistency in Discipline: Be consistent in your approach to discipline. When children understand the consequences of their actions, they are more likely to learn from their mistakes.
  5. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to other parents or professionals for advice and support. Sharing experiences can provide new perspectives and solutions you might not have considered.
  6. Self-Care: Take care of yourself. Parenting is demanding, and it’s important to look after your own well-being to be there for your child.

On a more positive note, here’s a TikTok video I posted which was supposed to have been for Mother’s Day. Despite the challenges in parenting, there is not a day or moment I regret being a parent.

@nicolasubben

From dreaming of true love to living it every day with my son and husband. ❤️ They are my everything, my heart’s desire, and the family I always longed for. This is my life, my love, my forever. ❤️ #peanutgallery247 #UnconditionalLove #FamilyFirst #DreamComeTrue #keepingitreal #happywifehappylife

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3 Replies to “Parenting is Not Easy”

    1. Yep…and just when you think you have some wins….along comes further challenges. But I wouldn’t trade this role with that being said ☺️

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