“I feel pretty and I can be anything I want.” – this is what every woman should know.

“Oh look at you…you’ve put on so much of weight since I last saw you”
“She’s too thin”
“She looks hideous in that outfit”
“I wonder what he sees in her”
“Her hair looks awful”
“I don’t look sexy”
“I hate my legs”

So many people to please, so many expectations! One minute you’re great in the eyes of one person and the very next, you’re appearing awful for the very same reason, to someone else. Should it matter? Why do we allow this? Whose opinion should matter anyway?

Let’s go back a few years…okay, maybe not a few in some cases, like mine for example…! Do you remember the innocence of being a child? You were curious, you had no fear of being judged. If you wanted to do something, you would. If you wanted to say something, you would. To you, it felt like no one was judging you…you could say, do or be anything you wanted to. From a doctor to a teacher to an air hostess…or whatever tickled your fancy then.

Wasn’t life so beautiful then? No worries, just carefree you.

Well then look who rocked up out of nowhere…yeah….well…hello INSECURITY! Now…we concern ourselves with what others say, think or feel about us. So much so that it stifles our growth.

What every woman should know: Break down those barriers

It causes barriers that prohibit us from being our best selves.
We create these images in our mind that torment us and hold us down.
We fear.
We fear that we will not be liked.
We fear that we will not be accepted.
We fear that we will not fit in.
We fear that we may fail.We allow this fear to hold us back. It becomes a bad habit.a freakin’ bad habit! It takes over who you were, who you wanted to be and who you were destined to be. When you are in an environment where you are surrounded by people who play on your insecurities, you lose yourself, because you end up doubting yourself.

You lose confidence. You question your abilities. You hold yourself back from opportunities, dreams and potential success, all because you lacked confidence and very often it’s because some or a few other people who were not confident themselves brought this upon you, but if we must be truly honest with ourselves, very often, it’s no one else but ourselves that causes the lack of confidence!

What every woman should know: Believe in yourself!

A few weeks ago, I went to the pre-release of the “I Feel Pretty” movie. I felt as if someone hijacked my subconscious as I watched my inner thoughts being echoed in the movie…only amplified like ten times more, making it so powerful and so apt! The timing was perfect for me. It was a message I needed to hear, almost like an affirmation as those thoughts were already lingering in my mind prior.

I walked out of the cinema feeling super charged, like I was ready to take on the world! “Nicola! You CAN do this!”, “Nicola, you can be anything you want to be!” (Okay…I’m not being totally honest here…I omitted the “F” word I was saying to myself.) Whatever doubts I had in my mind at the time, soon became a distant memory. This movie gave me the confidence boost that I needed, in a humorous but powerful way – one that almost all women will relate to. I’m not going to be super critical about the movie and comment on the contradictions etc. as this isn’t a movie review – I will just say that it reached it’s intended message!

The “I Feel Pretty” movie, it’s about self-efficacy – it’s about the power of the mind. It’s about confidence. It’s about loving yourself. It’s about believing that you can be anything you want to be and that if you believe it enough, you will be that. It sends a strong message across about how you should not hold yourself down because of the way the world sees you.

Have you watched this movie? I would love to know your thoughts about it in the comments below.

What every woman should know: You can be anything you want!

A few weeks prior, I attended a Barbie Media Event and the theme was, “You can be anything you want” – although it was directed at young girls, it was a message relevant for any age group. After watching the “I Feel Pretty” movie, I found a pertinent link to this Barbie theme, which made me even more passionate about both.

As women, young or old, we are faced with the challenges of being stereotyped, we fight for equality and we strive to prove that we can do the things men can do – the Barbie theme is to encourage young girls, that they can be whatever they want to be. They are encouraged to think outside of the box. They are encouraged to DREAM and DREAM BIG.

I don’t have a daughter, but if I did, I’d make sure I got her all the Barbie goodies now available in stores, to promote this terrifically inspiring message. What I love about the Barbies of today, is that they are more realistic. Her style resembles “normal” kids, one of which anyone can relate to. She comes in different shapes, colours and styles…not just blonde…no offence to blondes.

What every woman should know: Appreciate what you do have instead of longing to have or be like someone else

Who defines what sexy or beautiful is anyway? Is there some rule that says you must be a certain size to be beautiful? What is beauty? Who defines beauty?
Ladies, girls, women of all shapes and sizes, do realise that we are all unique. Fat, thin, short, tall, fair skin, dark skin, thin lips, thick lips, slender legs or thick thighs, we are all different. It’s in being different, that we are all special, in our own unique way.

For every so called “fat” girl who is feeling insecure about her weight, there is a skinny girl, wishing she could put on weight.

For every flat chested woman who wishes she had bigger breasts, there are those with bigger breasts are wishing they could have smaller breasts.

For the woman who feels her hair is too curly or thick, there are women wishing that she had such hair.

I could go on…I’m sure you get my point. As human beings, not just as women, not all of us are satisfied with what we have. We should be appreciative of our good qualities and features and use them! Instead of dwelling on our insecurities. If you want to dream….dream!…and make those dreams come true.

You don’t need to have plastic surgery for bigger boobs or a longer nose. Beauty does stem from within, it’s about how you feel and how you project yourself inward and outward. It all starts with you – how much do you love yourself and if not, what are you going to do about it?

Don’t compare yourself to other people. Be who YOU want to be. If you aspire to be like someone else, don’t be so overly focused on that, that you cut yourself short. Some people try so hard to be something that they are not, that they lose touch with who they truly are.

The “I Feel Pretty” movie reminded me that if I want something, I need to make it happen. Barbie, even though aimed at young girls, has taught or reminded me of this important lesson in life; that you can be anything you WANT to be. It’s all about how much you WANT something and then planning the steps to make that happen.

There was a time in my life, just over ten years ago, when I feel that I was at my “sexiest” in terms of the way I looked. I loved my figure then. I was the envy of many women/girls who knew me then. It was not nice – I was often judged because of the way I dressed. People who didn’t even know me, would pass remarks about me. Did I have true love in my life then? Was I truly happy? Did being and feeling so sexy then give me what my heart truly wanted?

NO.

I’m now overweight, I’m not saying this is healthy either – but my message to you is that, love and happiness comes from within. I am respected and appreciated for who I am, and I am made to feel loved for being me, not just by my husband, but those who know me, know I’m real…including myself.

I may probably be at my “worst” right now, in terms of looks, based on what society judges as sexy, but as a mother, as a wife and as a woman who used to be a perfect 10 at some stage in my life, I know that my beauty is not measured by the size of my waist. I know that sexy isn’t about being a certain bra size.

It’s all in the mind and the mind is a very powerful thing. So, my advice to you…is to start making friends with that mind of yours. Find yourself. Be YOU. Be BEAUTIFUL. Because you are, no matter what your shape or size is. What’s important is to be healthy, cos if you’re not healthy, no matter how sexy or beautiful you are…than may not last long.

Megan Markle wasn’t “perfect” but she is perfect enough for her Prince

If you need any more convincing, look at Royalty – Megan Markle who is now the Duchess of Sussex, their marriage was ground-breaking because it set new milestones, breaking previous traditions; she is American, she was raised Catholic, she is mixed race, she was a divorcee, she is younger than her prince and she wasn’t a virgin.

What does that mean to you? Well, it should mean a lot. You can also make a ground-breaking change and set new milestones for yourself! Don’t bash yourself because you are divorced or younger or fatter or older than whoever else…true love doesn’t notice such things. Anyone who looks down on you for any such reason doesn’t deserve to be with you, so it’s their loss, not yours.

Let’s put an end to body shaming. Be who you are. Love your skin, love your body, we all have flaws, let’s not focus on our imperfections but embrace the beauty that lies within.

On that note, I’d love for you to listen to this song by Jesse J, the lyrics are beautiful and perfectly compliment what I’ve communicated in this post.